Worst Self Help Books

Ranking everything eight at a time

Top Eight Worst Help Books

  1. How to Survive a Robot Uprising
  2.      With technology advancing faster than ever before, it may seem like a robot uprising is fast approaching. Contrary to this vastly popular belief, it is not. Besides we don't need a book to tell us that if there were an uprising, Arnold Schwarzenegger would be back to save us as he had promised.

  3. How to Raise and Keep a Dragon
  4.      Many mythological animals are not cared for properly (see unicorn) and it is great to know that thanks to this handy manual, no dragon owners have been charged with animal cruelty in years. It is very possible that this is due to the fact that dragons have been extinct since well before the formation of the Earth, but many dragonologists commend this book for its great advice.

  5. Well Blow Me Down: A Guy's Guide to Talking Like a Pirate
  6.      Why couldn't the young pirate get into the movie? Because it was rated arghh! If you laughed at that joke, this book is for you. If you didn't laugh, you can consider yourself normal. Talking like a pirate doesn't have as many practical uses as it did in the past. Before talking like a pirate was useful for many professions such as pirate, but today it is only useful for servers in themed restaurants and Johnny Depp.

  7. How to Start Your Own Country
  8.      Starting a country can be tough work. Not only do you need fight a war for independence where you, your friends and family, and whoever else is crazy enough to join you will be vastly outnumbered, but once you have the country you need to build it from the bottom up. This handy guide will help aspiring rebels in the tedious process offering step by step instructions.

  9. How to Speak With The Dead - A Practical Handbook
  10.      It is a sad fact that people die but with this new handbook, that doesn't mean that communication has to end. What is great about this handbook is the fact that it is practical. It doesn't call on anything supernatural or out of the ordinary. Just pure old practical thinking that will leave you wondering, "How didn't I think of that?"

  11. How to Be Pope
  12.      Of all the elected offices in the world, becoming pope is one the hardest to achieve. The list of qualifications is endless and this book will ensure that you don't miss a beat. It should be noted that a vow of poverty is necessary before moving into the Vatican (an estate worth approximately one billion dollars).

  13. How to Become Schizophrenic
  14.      In the United States approximately 1 in 200 people are born with Schizophrenia and according to the author of this book, everybody should be able to achieve this condition what some skeptics call "a disease". The benefits of schizophrenia such as having multiple personalities to keep yourself from being lonely easily outweigh the book's price tag and the small cons. Keep in mind, however, that schizophrenia is considered a serious mental disorder, and you should not read this book without first speaking to a physician, or really anybody else who has common sense.

  15. How to Read a Book
  16.      Reading books is hard work and reading this guide to reading books is sure to make your experience reading books such as How to Read a Book much more enjoyable. If you do not know how to read a book then this book is for you.

    List by: Nicholas Munarriz

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    Photo Courtesy:Tom Murphy VII